Murphy’s Law Gets a Texas Aggie Whoopin’!

In Professionalism, Texas Aggie Weddings, Weddings! by djscottshirley

“It’s a nice day for White Wedding!” – Billy Idol

It was a dark and stormy night – but it didn’t start out that way.

It was a bright sunny day when we left. All was ready as the PM Celebrations crew headed out for Monica and Rick Anderson’s Texas Aggie wedding. Playlists were saved and backed up on two computers. Scripts for introductions and timelines were printed and copied. Tuxedo pressed, backup sound system, spare computer, backup tux…as always, we were prepared for any contingency. We were ready, come hell or high water.

Little did we know we would experience both.

Halfway there it started getting dark. The temperature dropped 10 degrees, a welcome blessing in August, but then it started raining sideways. No problem, we had checked out the Waxahachie Civic Center, and knew they had a nice indoor loading dock.

When we arrived at the ballroom, three sad-looking people were waiting. They asked if we brought a wedding cake with us. Seemed like a rather odd question.

“No, we’re the entertainment. We brought sound and lighting equipment,” was my quick answer. Then they told me they were from the bakery, and the wedding cake had just fallen on the floor and collapsed. Total destruction. They were not happy.

Murphy’s Law, strike one.

With three hours until guests arrive, there was plenty of time to get another cake. But I had to ask, “How did this happen?”

The baker answered, “While the power was off, after the lightning struck.”

Some storm! Murphy’s Law was attacking with full force.

During set up it got steadily warmer. By the time we finished setting up a large sound system, satellite speakers and two lighting towers, we were dripping sweat. After toweling off and changing into formalwear, the manager informed us that the air conditioning was out from the lightning strike – but they were working on it.

A team of experts on Golden Overtime were working to get the place cool again.

Ol’ Murphy was working overtime today!

Then we waited. And waited. Forty-five minutes after time for the reception, and still nobody had arrived.

After an hour, the catering crew covered the food on the buffet. We began to wonder what else could go wrong.

The first guest to arrive told us the ceremony started late, because the priest was late! Then the service ran overtime, and so did the picture taking.

The caterers un-covered the food as the guests poured in from the storm, and the temperature continued to climb. The manager opened all the doors to the building to get a little breeze blowing, but that just increased the humidity. People were sweating buckets. The buffet line looked like sharks in a feeding frenzy.

At 9:30 p.m., there was still no wedding party, but the building manager shared the good news that the Air Conditioning was fixed. Hooray! Then came the bad news that we only had the ballroom until 11:00, not midnight as originally planned.

The manager informed us we had to quit an hour earlier than originally planned, even though the reception started late.

We had a big agenda, and only an hour and a half for the whole event!

Not only that, but by now all the food was gone – the buffet had been picked clean.

I welcomed the guests and announced the good news that we would be cool soon. This got a big cheer from the sweaty, starving guests.

We finally got the wedding party assembled at 9:45 for the Grand Entrance. Rick and Monica went straight to their first dance, a choreographed routine that brought down the house with cheers, applause and laughter. Thanks to Scott Schuster of One on One Productions for this clip:

That got the party started, and I got the dance floor packed right away, and kept the energy level high with icebreakers and hot dance tunes. Soon the guests forgot that all the food was gone and the air conditioning was out when they arrived.

In the end, great entertainment and laughter saved the day.

Murphy’s Law is no match for PM Celebrations and a bunch of Texas Aggies!

My Big Fun Jewish Wedding

In Jewish Funnies, Weddings! by djscottshirley

We recently had the opportunity to provide entertainment for a great fun wedding for Isaac and Adriana Watemberg. The Party Machine provided Ceremony Sound, Multimedia Entertainment for the reception, colorful Up-Lighting, Dance Lighting, Videography, and Your Name In Lights. It was an amazing event, that we nicknamed “My Big Fun Jewish Wedding.”

DJ Scott with Isaac and Adriana Watemberg

The ceremony was held outdoors at the Four Seasons Resort in Irving. It was a traditional Jewish ceremony under a chuppah with two Rabbis and a Cantor, and Adriana entered and circled the groom seven times. Later they shared wine and Isaac stomped the wineglass.

The guests then moved indoors for a cocktail hour in the lobby, where a string ensemble played classical music. There were guests in attendance from 17 different countries and five continents!

The guests proceeded into a Ballroom bathed in colored light, with the dance floor in the center beneath a canopy. Isaac and Adriana had their names projected on the wall above their cake table. It was breathtaking!

I welcomed the guests and introduced the Wedding Party, and implored the guests to make a “joyful noise” as Isaac and Adriana made their Grand Entrance. They responded with enthusiasm, and the newlyweds moved straight in to their First Dance.

The Rabbi then gave the blessing over the chollah (bread) and the staff began serving. During dinner the guests viewed an animated photo montage, followed by highlights of the ceremony, and the first dance, that was almost like seeing an instant replay. Since part of this had just happened, it was impressive – a big thanks to Keith Mathis for his outstanding on-site video editing. Nobody does it better!

Next we played the Newlywed Game, then kicked off the dancing with a traditional Hora. Check out this video clip, courtesy of Brandon Steward, who was running our lighting systems that night:

During the Newlywed Game, Isaac learned that his wife was peaking at his answers as our Wedding Party Live cameras were showing the game on the Big Screen, giving Adriana an advantage. When I showed Isaac that his new bride could see his answers, we all had a good laugh.

All manner of dancing and silliness ensued, and a grand time was had by all.

Mazel Tov! I look forward to many more Big Fun Jewish Weddings.

The Truth About Celebrating New Year’s Eve

In DJ Stuff by djscottshirley

I hosted a New Year’s celebration every year for 17 years, starting the year I turned 18 and started The Party Machine. Many years due to work conflicts (being an entertainer, I was often booked on New Year’s Eve) we hosted it on December 30th instead of the 31st.

We decided to write a creative Manifesto for celebrating on December 30.

We invaded the college library in the middle of final test week, and began serious scholarly research. We learned the fascinating history of how our modern calendar evolved, from the Julian calendar of the Romans, to our current Gregorian calendar, ordered by a medieval Pope, and designed to correct differences in solar and lunar time.

It was an improvement, but the politics of the Protestant Reformation meant that different countries adopted the new calendar at different times. England, in particular, refused to accept the Pope’s calendar for 200 years.

Changing the calendar got the peasants revolting!

The difference was between 10 and 11 days when England (and the American colonies) finally changed to the Gregorian calendar, and so they had to add them back. But it was still not accurate, so our custom of adding a day on Leap Year began, adding more confusion.

The conclusion, based on our pseudo-scientific and chemically influenced college research, was that today’s calendar is off between 7 and 8 hours.

With a wee bit of rationalization, we figured that is almost an entire day of work – sort of – and thus the calendar was off by a day, and New Year’s Eve should rightfully be on December 30.

Since the Teeming Millions are accustomed to celebrating on the 31st and are averse to change, and because I make a pretty good living for working for some of them at New Year’s Eve parties, we decided to celebrate both days.

We called it the Two Party System.

Happy New Year, Pun Fans!

My Favorite Father and Daughter Dance

In Texas Aggie Weddings, Weddings! by djscottshirley

When Shalane Bellinghausen was planning her wedding to Tom Hammerle, she knew she wanted their celebration to be different. At Party Machine Celebrations we have always believed “Different is Good.” These Texas Aggies understood the importance of tradition, and also about celebrating with style, wit and humor.

It’s been trendy in recent years to stage a choreographed first dance with a romantic song, that is interrupted by “technical difficulties” (carefully staged, of course) and then breaks into a medley of fast popular song and dance. The couple pulls off some flashy dance moves, and it’s obvious that it was planned.

By the time Interrupted First Dances flashed onto YouTube and the Today Show, we had been creating them for years.

And as trends become the norm, their uniqueness starts to wear off. What was once different is now the same as the other non-conformists.

Shalane and Tom witnessed some Party Machine showbiz at the wedding of Lauren and Drew Ray, when Lauren and her father, Scott Shaw, broke into “Stayin’ Alive” from Saturday Night Fever during their Father-Daughter dance. It’s funnier when it’s unexpected, especially if Dad can act a little in addition to his terpsichorean skills.

Shalane knew this would be hilarious with her father, Chuck Bellinghausen, who is nearly two feet taller than she is. And she had the perfect song in mind.

Here is Shalane’s Father-Daughter Dance at City Club of Fort Worth:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SsugEGb3pc&rel=0]

Since Tom was a soldier soon to be deployed, this was in keeping with their theme. The entire routine was pre-recorded, and they got a rehearsal copy and practiced it a few times.

Simple! And despite the frivolity, they made it look rather elegant.

Everybody’s Got One, But Mine Is Bigger Than Yours!

In Weddings! by djscottshirley

Everybody has a family. This fact is perhaps most apparent at weddings. For many guests it is their first acquaintance with the bride or groom’s extended family.

According to demographers, the average American family has between 2 and 3 children. My wife was the fourth of five siblings. Since some couples never have offspring, that means there are some pretty big families out there to buoy up the average.

Bill Whittle married into such a family when he tied the knot with DeeDee Joachim. She was child number 18 out of 20.

Joachim family pictures require a panoramic lens! Patriarch Jack Joachim, age 92, poses with twelve of his children at DeeDee and Bill's wedding at the Petroleum Club of Fort Worth.

Our entertainment included a video presentation from a TV game show that originally aired in 1957 and featured the Joachim family, who numbered only 17 at the time. 50 years later, 12 of them were in attendance at DeeDee’s wedding, along with 92-years-young Dad, Jack.

Octomom has got nothing on this family!

My Neighbor’s Friend Is a DJ!

In Professionalism by djscottshirley

It’s easy to distinguish between a DJ “wanna-be” and a professional entertainer, at least it is for me. But I have 34 years’ experience in this business, and I realize the difference is not always obvious to someone seeking to hire entertainment for an event.

Everybody knows somebody who “is a DJ.” Every kid with an iPod thinks he is a DJ these days.

But you wouldn’t hire a person to prepare your tax return simply because he has a calculator.

The American DJ Association has published a list of Ten Questions to Ask Your DJ, to determine if you are dealing with someone who is striving to be more professional with their DJ business. All are good things to know, such as level of experience, professional equipment, and liability insurance. But these Ten Questions are minimum qualifications.*

There are minimum qualifications that everyone should have before claiming to be a “professional” anything, whether it’s a DJ, a plumber, or a doctor. The letters MD after your doctor’s name mean he is a trained professional, with a high level of education, experience, and licensing, just for starters. There are credentialing requirements for continuing education, testing, and insurance. Similar standards apply for attorneys, accountants, engineers, managers, and other professions.

Sadly, there are no such minimal standards for the title “DJ.” Anyone can just declare that they are a DJ. No training, no degree, no license, just claim the initials. Caveat emptor!

In fact, some of the ADJA Questions for DJs are almost silly, such as having to ask how a DJ will dress for your event. A true professional will own several tuxedos, suits and costumes, and carry a spare shirt in case of an unfortunate coffee spill. Experienced wedding DJs have a collection of ties, vests and cummerbunds to match bridal colors. But would you ask your doctor if he owns a lab coat?

Asking a DJ (or DJ wanna-be) “Do you have a wireless microphone” is a bit like asking a doctor if he owns a stethoscope.

Even the question about professional equipment falls short, as it is not clearly defined. Since every kid with an iPod thinks he’s a a DJ, the market is flooded with cheap “entry-level” DJ equipment. There are even “DJ In A Box” kits out there.

Such low-end gear is not reliable and cannot survive the rigors of professional mobile use, and top pros will not even risk it as backup gear. It is frequently seen in pawn shops and yard sales.

Would you want your doctor to use “Cat Scan In A Box” when your health is at stake? The milestone celebrations in your life such as weddings, birthdays, graduations, reunions, and retirement, deserve professional tools and talent.

Becoming a professional presumes that you have the right stuff – talent, training, and tools – to do your job. That is the bare minimum.

But being a professional means just one thing: in addition to talent, training, and tools, you have the experience, business acumen, and repeat customers to earn a living at your craft.

It’s what we do.

*So how do you know if a DJ is a professional? Easy – look at their past customers, references, and reviews and awards.

Avast, Me Hearties!

In Pirate Holiday, Weird Things at Parties by djscottshirley

If you want to have a proper party for International Talk Like a Pirate Day, you should invite some pirates.

Like Captain Morgan, for instance.

Okay, so perhaps he is the fictitious product of an Ad-man’s imagination. But he is a real enough character in modern culture, that grown men can actually earn a living making public appearances dressed as the Buccaneer of Booze.

DJ Scott with Captain Morgan, a wanna-be pirate, who is actually a paid model. His contract requires him to pose with his left leg raised for all pictures, to look like the logo picture. However, without a barrel to rest his foot on, he looks more like a dog at a fire hydrant.

Yes, if you contact the right people at the liquor distributor’s office, they will send Captain Morgan, or a reasonable facsimile, to your party. They will even go you one better: they will send his crew of Morganettes, models dressed as pirate wenches, to distribute free samples of Captain Morgan’s Rum products.

The Captain with some Morganettes. Note the raised leg.

Let’s get this party started!

Listen To Your Bubby!

In Jewish Funnies by djscottshirley

As I arrived to meet with my Bar Mitzvah clients, the grandparents drove up at the same time. After introductions we all sat down in the den to discuss the big event next week.

As Mom was spreading out pictures on the coffee table for Adam’s photo montage, we heard the Bar Mitzvah boy make a discovery in the kitchen.

“Cool, is this for me?” He had found a good-sized Tupperware container his grandparents had brought him from Indiana.

Grandma told him to dig in and enjoy himself, and I had to ask what was in the goody box.

She explained it was fresh Venison Jerky. Sounded great to me!

But I had to ask, “Is that Kosher?”

She set her finger over her lips in the international “shush” signal.

Listen to your bubby!

Just a Typical Day at Work, With Barrel Rolls

In DJ Stuff, Weird Things at Parties by djscottshirley

It was a glorious sailing day on Eagle Mountain Lake, the kind of beautiful spring day that makes you feel great to be alive.

In addition to great sailing, we were treated to a free air show directly above us. There were numerous vintage airplanes, some formation flying, and even an aerobatic stunt plane doing spins, loops, and barrel rolls – and all of it right over the lake. We had a close-up view from the boat.

We were treated to a free Air Show

Our sailing day was cut short so that I could go and DJ for a party. The event was celebrating a young lady’s graduation from Nursing School, to be held in an airplane hanger at Hicks Airfield, not far from the Fort Worth Boat Club.

I arrived early and set up my DJ booth, speakers and a few simple lights, and played some background music as I began to equalize the sound system. As airplane hangars go, this was a rather nice one. It was new and spotlessly clean, with insulation that helped the acoustics, skylights, and wide overhead doors that allowed the entire front of the building to be open to the beautiful spring weather. It might be just a hangar, but it would sound great, and tonight’s gonna be a good night!

A few neighbors from surrounding hangars were there, talking about the Air Show that day, as we were at the airport where it had been based. One asked me if I had seen the show, and I told him yes, and that I especially enjoyed watching the stunt plane.

He told me that particular plane was owned by a retired Air Force pilot buddy, and that he kept it just a few hangars down from the party. He had flown with him several times, and said the thrill of doing loops, stalls, and barrel rolls was quite an experience.

“Man, I would love to do that!” I told him. I had done some flying in small planes, and have several pilot friends and clients (Southwest and American Airlines are old Party Machine customers), but I had never done aerobatic flight.

So he told me he would contact his friend to arrange for me to take a stunt flight. COOL! I would be looking forward to that. Scratch off one more item on my Bucket List.

The caterers and a few guests arrived as I settled in to planning my playlists, and I was looking forward to a fun spring party. I heard someone say “Let’s go!” and looked up to see the guy I had talked to about the stunt plane, waving me toward the front of the open hangar.

“Go where?” I asked him. “Flying,” was his quick answer, and I looked to see the stunt plane right in front of us, waiting with the engine running.

“You mean right NOW?” I asked. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but I had a job to do. I thought his offer to arrange a stunt flight was for some future day, but there he was, ready to fly! He assured me it would just take a few minutes, and the host encouraged me to go. So I programmed some “party primer” background music and set the sound on autopilot, and climbed aboard.

It was an old two-seater with sliding glass canopies where the co-pilot sits behind the pilot. The controls were duplicated in both seats, and the instruments were labeled in Chinese.

The pilot explained this was a training fighter built in China for the Korean War, among the last propeller fighters built, and they were popular in America as aerobatic planes. He ordered me to strap myself in tightly, as we would be flying upside down.

He warned me not to touch the stick, and asked if I ever got airsick. Before I could respond we were off! We were airborne in 30 seconds. We climbed and banked to the right, and headed toward the lake to our West. Soon we were above the Boat Club harbor, and I could see my beloved sailboat Vamos in her slip.

We started to climb as the pilot looked back to ask if I wanted to “go weightless.” I shouted “Yes,” and he slowed the plane and climbed at an awkward angle to make the wings stall. We were in that temporary state of negative G-force where you “lose your stomach” as we used to say when we were kids. He turned and asked if I felt sick at all, and I assured him I was good to go.

He returned the plane to normal flight level, accelerated, and then started into a roll. Our flight path was like a corkscrew, with the pilot in total control, but I was no longer sure which way was up! It was an amazing sensation.

As we leveled off, my host asked again if I felt sick at all, and I again said no. So he accelerated into a steep climb, and never stopped, going all the way upside-down and backwards into a complete loop, then another. The odd thing was that it didn’t feel like we were upside down, or even that we were going very fast, but I was glued into my seat by the G-force.

We leveled off again, and the pilot asked – again – about my stomach. I was fine, so he took us into a dive toward the lake. We saw a ski boat below with a skier in tow, who must have been going 40 miles per hour on the water, as we hit “plummeting speed” of around 185, or some similar Chinese number, approaching directly behind the boat. We were closing at an alarming rate. I prepared for heavy G-force when he pulled up, but it kept not happening. I wanted to shout, “Pull up!” but I couldn’t. I had visions of an emergency water landing as we got frighteningly close to the ski boat below.

When the pilot pulled out of the dive, I think my cheeks and ears were all the way down on my shoulders. I feel certain that we were not as close to the water as it appeared, but it was better than any amusement park thrill ride. I knew that the water skier had a pantsload after seeing us that close, and when the G’s released my face I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. When the pilot looked back, I proactively declared that my stomach was fine, but the ski boat guys were probably pretty nervous!

Another banked turn and we landed back at Hicks, and taxied a short distance to his hangar. We stopped, hopped out, and pushed the plane backwards into the hangar, jumped into a golf cart, and returned to the party.

Total elapsed time: 8 minutes 20 seconds.

As always, a great party ensued.

I love my job.

Hot Dog Man, A Most Unusual Party Guest

In DJ Stuff, Weddings!, Weird Things at Parties by djscottshirley

One of my favorite Party Machine clients is the Greer family, for whom I have done at least five weddings and various birthday, Christmas and retirement parties. At the last few events, there has always been a peculiar guest of honor, who I always called “Hot Dog Man.” It turns out that Hot Dog Man has both a name and a history, as does his owner, John Greer.

John and JoDee were married beside an airplane at the C R Smith Aviation Museum. John is a naval aviator, and he and the crew of his Navy reconnaissance plane were all in Navy Dress uniform, earning the event nickname of “the Top Gun wedding.” John proposed to JoDee while sky-diving, and the video was a big hit at their reception. Later they danced beneath laser beams shooting from the plane’s wings. And Mr Marbles, the Hot Dog Man, was right in the middle of it all.

Here is the full, un-edited story from John Greer, for your enjoyment.

JoDee and John Greer leave their wedding reception with Mr. Marbles.
JoDee seems thrilled to have Mr Marbles tag along.

The Adoption of Mr. Marbles, by John Greer

Prior to the fall of 2003, the history of Mr. Marbles is unknown. I can only offer assumptions of his past by the very means of which I acquired him. My postulation is that Mr. Marbles was heavily involved in food sales, specifically the kind made up of “lips and assholes” formed into a phallic shape we all know as the “hotdog”. While I was not on a mission that day to purchase such a thing, I found myself in a convenience store in the middle of Arizona (city unknown) in pursuit of recovery items from a fatiguing and costly weekend in Las Vegas. Only through these circumstances of chance and perhaps destiny, was Mr. Marbles acquired and officially adopted into my family.

BACKGROUND

In the fall of 2003, I was assigned to the VP-9 Golden Eagles carrying out operations as a Naval Flight Officer in the mighty P-3 Orion. Being stationed in Hawaii, the wardroom (fellow aviators) were always seeking out ways to return to the CONUS area and engage in festive events to connect socially with the citizens of America and at the same time conduct training to improve combat readiness. The particular event which allowed such an opportunity was a fellow aviator taking the nuptial vows in the city of Las Vegas.
Planning circumstances did not allow us fly direct into Vegas but instead, land in Point Magu, California. This dilemma necessitated the requirement for a road trip between the two cities which equated to a four hour transit. As professionals, we accepted the extra hurdle and committed ourselves to carry out the mission. The flight was uneventful and only after fulfilling the training objectives did we elect to land and begin the jovial weekend with the populace.
Long story short, the drive to Vegas was uneventful and the wedding was grand, festive, and offered us all an excuse to party the night away. The carousing continued throughout the weekend with the traditional Vegas activities where most of my time was spent at the craps table. By the way, you know it’s been a rough night when your ATM fees alone are over $70 dollars. Needless to say without doing the precise math, I took a hit. The night ended and after a brief nap, we all assembled with our designated driver to commence the return trip to Point Magu.

THE ENCOUNTER

The return trip was going as planned with the exception of some traffic and minor construction extending our transit time to our destination. Within the car, the symptoms from the weekend ranged from sated bladders, volatile bowels, headaches, and a few members suffering from nausea – some had all of the above. For me, a full bladder, chapped lips from the dry climate, and a distressed checking account were the extent of my ailments. The minor disorders we were all suffering from demanded a pit stop at a random convenience store in the middle of Arizona to negate the issues.
The van parked and we all staggered in to take care of our individual needs. Once in the store, my priorities were to relieve the bodily fluids, and make the necessary purchases to ease the rest of the journey. After coming out of the bathroom, I encountered one of my buddies commenting on the “hot dog man” sitting on top of the rotisserie hot dog cooker. He immediately began negotiating to which no price could be agreed upon. The owner of the store would not compromise and announced that the “hot dog man” would not be sold for anything less than $200 dollars. After a brief reflection of my weekend activities and the realization that I had no monetary gain and only good memories, I shouted out, “SOLD” and the rest is history. Mr. Marbles-Greer was officially adopted and successfully made the rest of the voyage as an official crew-member.

MR. MARBLES – THE NEXT YEARS

The remainder of the trip went as planned and Mr. Marbles received appropriate flight gear to make the transit back across the Pacific logging 9 hours of flight time. Since then he has made one more return trip across the Pacific by boat to his next residence in San Antonio, TX. His only social engagement outside the residence is the wedding between me and my beautiful wife JoDee. At present time he is located in Leavenworth, KS enjoying his new family and living the dream.

— John Greer

Thanks, John! And if you like Mr Marbles, wait ’til you meet Alice! — DJ Scott